We are all just doing the best we can.
Motherhood came as a surprise to me. As soon as I found out I was pregnant with my first child everything in the world changed. In my opinion, this is one thing that makes fatherhood different from motherhood. I think most men don’t really become dads until they hold their baby. But we become mothers as soon as we know we are pregnant. For some women, it is as soon as you see that blue line on a stick. For me, it was at a 10-week ultrasound where I saw my little bean bouncing around on the screen.
It’s like something just shifts. Suddenly you are avoiding foods, and sleeping in different positions. Really just doing anything and everything in your power to keep your baby safe. That being said, I’m not knocking fathers because let’s face it… I could not be the mother I am today, without my husband being the dad he is.
I remember in those short nine months (that felt like an eternity) I made some big plans.
Like most soon to be first-time mothers, I started researching motherhood. I read books, watch movies and of course listened to the (sometimes unsolicited) advice from anyone that saw my pregnant belly.
So by the time I was heading to the hospital to give birth I knew how I wanted to give birth (-all natural.) Everything I was and was not going to feed my new baby. What I would and would not teach her. And I thought I was totally prepared… I’m sure if you are a parent you are probably laughing right now. Me too. That sweet innocent mom-to-be had no idea what she was in for.
Labor is where it started. Where I realized I actually had absolutely no control when it came to my child. Not because the doctors took control but because that baby isn’t doing anything it doesn’t want to do. Including be born.
As moms, we all have the best intentions.
For me I was determined to have a natural birth, then breastfeed for a year and all the things you hope for as a first-time mom. But after being in labor for 20 hours I asked for the epidural I swore I would not get. And I switched my daughter from the breast to a bottle because after returning to work I struggled to pump enough milk.
With my second baby, I was ready for labor since I had done it before. I thought t would be a breeze. But ended up with a c-section. And even though I was breastfeeding he was a baby with colic and of course, that was not in the plan.
During that time I was so hard on myself. I worried about every detail including if my baby would ever feel that bond we had when we were breastfeeding. But looking back I wish I knew then what I know now. That we moms just do the best we can and hope its the best for our children. And most of the time… even on your worst day, as long as your kids are fed and alive you are probably going okay!
Thanks for reading!