Ahhh motherhood. What can I say...
I am honestly amazed some days at how hard being a mom really is. I’m not complaining because I know that I am extremely blessed to have two healthy, happy kids. I won‘t pretend to have even an idea of what it‘s like to have a sick child, in and out of the hospital or never even getting to leave. But being a mother, no matter what your situation, is HARD.
I have always loved kids (especially babies,) and I have always known I wanted to be a mom. And from the moment I saw my 10-week old fetus on an ultrasound in 2013, I was transformed into a mom. (Well technically before that but for me, when I saw my little bean sized baby bouncing around inside my body, I have been a mom.)
I knew that once I became a mom, my life would change forever but there are a few things I just was not expecting and for some reason, no one told me, or I just didn’t listen. (Which is possible because before I had kids, I thought knew exactly how I would raise my kids, but of course I was mistaken.) So here are a few things no one told be about being a mom, that I would like to share with you.
I have so much sympathy for other parents.
Before I had kids, I used to be one of those people that would see a kid throwing a fit and think to myself, “If that was my kid … insert scenario where I would always be able to keep my kids calm and under control, HA! Now I’m giving moms and dads sympathy eyes and thinking, “just stay strong mama (or daddy!)” I know their pain, I have been in a grocery store and had a 3-year-old screaming at the top of her lungs because she didn’t get this or that and being completely embarrassed and having no idea what to do.
I feel guilty about pretty much everything.
I even feel guilty about feeling guilty. It’s the strangest thing, I swear. I’m honestly not sure if it‘s completely normal but I can‘t help it and I can‘t seem to make it stop. It can be something as simple as buying something for myself or taking a little “me” time, and I start getting that guilty feeling again. I have talked to a few other moms who feel this way and of course, the term “mom guilt” implies I can’t be the only one… right?
I have pretty much no time to myself.
Sometimes I wouldn’t want it any other way, but there are times…
I remember before I had kids, all the times I went to the bathroom in peace and didn’t think twice about it. Now if I hear silence or don’t see little faces while I’m peeing (always with the bathroom door open,) I get very suspicious and usually come out to find trouble.
I worry about EVERYTHING.
Well not so much now since I’ve had my second baby, but honestly I still worry constantly. When my first child was born I was constantly googling every single thing. I remember in the first month she was home I questioned everything, if I was changing her diapers enough, or feeding her enough, or if she was sleeping enough. I’m telling you, it was crazy.
Now I don’t do those things as much but that doesn’t change the fact that I am always worrying about them. Now it‘s more important stuff, like worrying if I‘m raising them to be kind and strong and a good contribution to society… you know, the usual for parents everywhere.
I could literally walk through fire for another human being.
This probably seems obvious. As a parent, of course, you would give up everything for your children. But I honestly couldn’t believe how easy it came to just completely forget about self-preservation when it came to my children. While pregnant, during childbirth and every single day of their lives I have done and will do everything thing in my power to keep them safe. My own safety be damned.
Motherhood has really taken me by surprise in more ways than I can count. This life has given me so many things to be thankful for. I can say from the bottom of my heart that being their mother is the best thing I have ever done or will ever do.